Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And we’ve just got engaged!
That’s it, break it to them gently.
Well, I was all excited, wasn’t I?
Well, so am I, but I thought we could lead up to it with a drum roll.
Oh, drum rolls. We’ll have them at the reception.
Well, anyway, it’s true folks. We’ve been and gone and done it.
Done what?
Done the Ding Dong Number.
The Ding Dong Number?
Yes, we’re hearing bells.
What, titty-thingy that rings in your ears?
No, wedding bells, dopey.
Oh, got you.
We have arranged to be joined in holy matrimony.
Is it really going to be holy?
Well, the thing’ll cost to the high heavens.
Yes, but our love is heaven-sent, sod the cost!
Well put.
We’ve been together now…
…for 40years and it don’t seem a day too long.
Not quite. We’ve been together for 17years. We first became a couple in 1997.
That’s right and I always said we should last longer than Blair.
Yes, that’s right. Blair lasted 10years, but our love is here to stay, so sod ’em.
Well put again.
Anyway, we were discussing how much a Ding Dong Number would cost.
And as we got talking about it, we thought we might as well go and have a chat about it.
So we did.
We went to the Registrar because I knew we didn’t want a church thingy.
And the first thing I noticed when we went into his office for a chat was the Union Jack on a flagpole in the corner.
Yes and I said “that’s very patriotic, having the flag in the corner.”
And he said “that’s only there for citizenship ceremonies for immigrants.”
So that was the end of that thought.
Back home in the States we’re used to seeing the Stars & Stripes in the corner of offices, but the British seem shy of using their flag.
Pity. Nice flag.
We always had the flag flying from the town hall back home in Birmingham, Alabama.
And so did we back home in Gloucester, Connecticut.
We came to Britain as students, you see.
I was studying Journalism.
And I was studying the other students, until we met.
And we stayed here.
And we stayed together.
And now we’ve decided to do the Ding Dong Number.
Yes, we got home from meeting with the Registrar, you see.
And we read all the bumf.
And we went and made a cuppa tea.
And while we were in the kitchen, I said “I suppose you do want to?”
And I said “I do if you do.”
And so we did, or rather we will, in 4weeks time, the first week of September, which is also the first anniversary of ‘Apple & Ginger’s Roadshow.’
So, you see, we never actually proposed because we both just knew, really.
If you had proposed, would you have got down on one knee.
No.
Why not?
I’d never get up again, would I?
Neither would I come to think of it. Anyway, more next week. It’s time for us to go now.
O.K. goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 