Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And we’ve just been chatting with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
He’s just got back from his regimental reunion.
All his old friends were there.
For instance, there was Pork Chop Hilary.
And there was Full Metal Janet.
And there was Ryans Privates.
They were always saving Ryans Privates.
And there was Sandra Iwo Jima.
And there was Angela One Five.
They call themselves the Expendipals.
Pork Chop Hilary was saying that she feels they’ve got it easy these days.
In her day even the women were tougher than some of today’s part-timers.
Don’t argue with our Pork Chop Hilary. Especially if she’s got a meat cleaver in her hand at the time.
She runs a butcher’s shop now.
It’s like any other butcher’s shop except Pork Chop Hilary interrogates the hanging meat in the freezer before chopping it up.
Only Pork Chop Hilary can get a dead cow to confess.
To what?
Anything!
Ryans Privates became a proctologist after he left the forces.
What’s a proctologist?
A bum doctor.
Nuff said.
Full Metal Janet runs a garage.
Bring her anything, from a Cadillac to a station wagon and she’ll turn it into an armoured personnel carrier.
Whether you want her to or not!
Sandra Iwo Jima went to live in Japan, as you might’ve guessed, with her husband.
They opened a restaurant that sells good old-fashioned western junk food.
They couldn’t stand any of that Japanese stuff.
It ended up as a successful chain of restaurants, Sandra’s World Famous Western Muck Shop.
Angela One Five was a pilot.
She became a flight instructor.
By force of habit she teaches all her clients to fly at zero feet, which can be useful if you like flying and window shopping at the same time.
She had an unfortunate accident a couple of years ago when one client stopped at a red light.
On this occasion they had a meal together. Sandra Iwo Jima brought the starters, Pork Chop Hilary brought the main course and Angela One Five brought the drinks.
Sometimes they go on a holiday together.
Once they went to Hill 47.
Next time they went to Hill 48.
Hills can be very nostalgia-inducing.
They tell jokes. Here’s one.
A lookout on a minesweeper calls out “mine ahead, mine ahead.”
Then he calls out “it’s alright, it’s one of ours.”
Anyway, seeing all his old friends did Whiskey Tango Foxtrot the world of good.
He’s been a bit depressed lately because his pet tiger, Fango, had a vomiting bug.
It’s quite a sight seeing a tiger parking the tiger.
Since their get together Fango’s got over the attacks of the technicolor yawns.
We think he was sensitive because Whiskey Tango Foxtrot was missing his old friends.
So, that’s the Expendipals.
It’s time for us to go now and help them finish off the drinks and reminisce about old times and old friends.
We’ll see you next week. Say goodnight to all the nice people around the world.
O.K. goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 