Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And I’m just pouring myself some water to have with a headache tablet.
What d’you want a headache for?
No, I’ve already got a headache, thanks.
Where?
In my head!
Why?
I was up all night.
Oh yes.
Writing.
Writing what?
Well, writing this for a start.
But we’re saying all this right now.
I know. Deep, isn’t it. I think it’s something to do with predestination.
I was never any good at train timetables, anyway, you’ve spilt half of it.
I know.
At least the carpet won’t have a headache.
Yes. that’s quite right. I can’t fault your logic. It is very true that the carpet has no headache. And if I run out of headache tablets I can always lick the carpet instead.
Oh, that’s mucky.
Then you can hoover my tongue because I’d have a shagpile tongue.
Oh, that’s even more mucky.
I’ve got an Auntie Diluvian who has a lot of migraines.
Oh, yes.
Well, she’s more a Diluvian Aunt, really.
Where’s she from?
It’s somewhere in Eastern Europe, I think. I’m not really sure.
How old is she?
About 55,000,000 years old.
I bet you get on with her really well.
She’s very deep, you know.
I bet you can really rely on her.
She’s a rock.
I bet she tells you lots and lots of really interesting stories.
No, it’s like getting blood from a stone.
What about uncles?
I’ve got an Uncle from Man.
Oh, yes.
Well, he’s more the Man from UNCLE, really.
Well, how come?
He talks to his pen all day.
Perhaps that’s why you write.
Well, I hope it’s my pen that talks through me.
That sounds a bit painful.
I suppose it does, really. It’s got something to do with the pen being mightier than the sword.
I see.
I’m going to have my tablet now, so why don’t you say goodnight to all the nice people around the world, especially if they’ve got a headache.
O.K, goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 