Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And the other night we were watching a nude ballet version of ‘Adam & Eve.’
The aria started and they both started singing from off-stage.
Then they came on stage, from opposite sides, stark naked.
What made me laugh was that someone actually had the bare-faced cheek to be credited in the program as “Costume Designer.”
And there were plenty of bare-faced cheeks on show that night, I can tell you!
The only bits of costume we could see was that Eve was a healthy girl and had a skin-coloured hairnet bra and Adam was very well endowed in the nether regions and had on a skin-coloured thong, to stop his jiggly bits from flopping about all over the place during the performance.
As for the music, I don’t know my arias from my elbow.
You would if you were watching those two!
Then it got to the scene with the apple.
When Eve leant up to pick the apple from the tree her hairnet bra got caught in the scenery and she came down showing she had a lovely pair instead.
Then Adam danced over and tried to do Eve up again, while singing and dancing, while she holds this apple out for him, which he completely ignores for 3 minutes.
Would have saved a lot of trouble if Adam did that in the first place!
Then Adam took the apple from Eve and as he bit into it, one of his cherries popped out of his hairnet thong.
And, while singing a lament for lost innocence, Eve popped the miscreant testicle back in again.
It didn’t help that the actor playing the Voice of God developed a stutter out of nerves because of so many cock-ups and cock-downs, so the live “Be Gone!” had more bees in it than an English summer.
By the time he got to the end of the line Adam and Eve had been banished from the Garden of Eden for ages and there was no-one left on stage.
Altogether, great fun!
We were wondering if they might like to come back next year and do ‘Adam & Eve on Ice.’
If either of them slipped out that time they wouldn’t be so well endowed.
Doesn’t bear thinking out.
Mind you, they could put the heating on.
Yes, that’s a good idea, especially in case of costume malfunctions.
On the other hand, it might have its’ drawbacks.
Such as?
Adam and Eve might end up swimming through the last act.
In that case why not take advantage of the situation?
Meaning?
Adam and Eve do the deed on stage. Enter Cain and Abel. One kills the other. All sorts of extras come on stage and start doing naughty things that anger God and they all die in the Great Flood!
Brilliant, I’ll write it tomorrow afternoon!
Well, it’s time for us to go, then.
Say goodnight to all the nice people around the world.
OK, goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 