Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And we were chatting to Whiskey Tango Foxtrot the other day.
He’s very good to his mother, who lives with him and who he looks after.
She’s as old as her teeth, but not as old as her hips!
Anyway, the other day he asked her what she wanted for lunch and she wanted sandwiches.
So he popped out to get some.
When he got back the conversation went like this:-
“Is that you, dear?”
“D’you know anyone else with a key?”
“No, dear.”
“Then it’s me.”
“You might’ve lent it to someone.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Anyway, I’ve got your sandwiches.”
“What are they dear?”
“Two slices of bread with a filling.”
“And what else, dear?”
“Butter.”
“As well as the butter.”
“Well, I’ve been getting egg and bacon for you a lot, so I’ve go you a change.”
“Bacon and chicken?”
“No.”
“Not egg and cress.”
“No.”
“Good, they give me gas.”
“I’ve got you an LBT.”
“Oh, can they have their own sandwiches as well now, dear?”
“Who?”
“Hee Bee Gee Bee people.”
“You mean L G B T people.”
“That’s it. I mean they can marry, they can adopt, they can smoke in public. Why shouldn’t they have their own sandwiches too?”
“It’s Lettuce, Bacon and Tomato, mother.”
“Is that what they like eating, dear?”
“Sometimes, maybe.”
“What if they’re gay and Jewish? Do they just have the lettuce and tomato?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“What if they’re vegetarian and gay?”
“Maybe they leave off the bacon too.”
“But a tomato’s a fruit!”
I think vegetarians make tomatoes honourable vegetables.”
“What, like your father?”
“Be nice, mother.”
“What if they’re gay, Jewish and a vegetarian?”
“I suppose they just eat the lettuce.”
“What if they’re gay, Jewish, a vegetarian and they’ve got a pet rabbit?”
“Then I suppose they starve, mother.”
“Or buy a better sandwich!”
“I tell you what, mother, I’ll have the ‘Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender’ sandwiches and you have these egg and bacon ones I got as well.”
“Sounds OK to me, dear.”
So much for change!
Anyway, it’s time for us to go now. See you next week.
Say goodnight to all the nice people and their sandwiches around the world.
OK, goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 