Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And after years of loneliness and several failed facelifts, Botox Betty has found a friend.
Things haven’t always worked out for Botox Betty. Longtime followers of life in our lovely little village of Upton Went and how we feel about what’s going on in the world outside will remember when, Botox Betty organised the ‘Nude Nativity Play’ for Christmas 2014?
Look back, if you don’t, because she went pink all over when the Reverend Archie Farcnad came in at the end and said “No, I said I’m looking forward to you doing the NEW Nativity Play!”
She blushed places she never knew you could blush.
Like the pulpit!
Yes, that’s right, I remember now. She had palpitations in the pulpit for ages afterwards.
Anyway, let’s just say Botox Betty’s personal story arc in life has been somewhere between Captain America in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the latter episodes of ‘Mr. Ed.’
By the way, what about ‘Avengers – Endgame?’
Captain America goes back in time and at the end he stops off in 1942 and…
…and if you want to know any more, you’ll have to watch it for yourself.
And what about Ironman?
And I’m not telling you all that story either.
Let’s just say, the writing of the story arc of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Avengers characters is very good in exactly the sort of way the revival of ‘Dr. Who’ since 2005 thinks it is, but just plain isn’t!
It’s time ‘Dr. Who’ disappeared up its’ own space-time continuum!
Anyway, as we were saying, Botox Betty has found a friend.
That friend is Bunsen Bernard, pronounced Ber-nerd.
Now, Bunsen Bernard is a science lecturer at Watsamatta U.
During summer recesses he teaches ballet, using the lab benches as barres.
Botox Betty thought she might have had a bit of trouble getting her leg up on the bench.
She didn’t.
However, on the first attempt she swung herself over with such ferocity that she couldn’t get it down again.
Bunsen Bernard helped her down with her leg and from what we hear, he’s been helping her down with everything since.
And, apparently, Botox Betty is giving Bunsen Bernard so much encouragement, he’s having trouble keeping not keeping things up permanently.
She’s certainly passed her practical exam.
Apparently, from what we hear from Silly Sausage, at the Silly Cow, Botox Betty told her they’ve been ‘practicing so much at home, she’s worn out one mattress, two sofas and three kitchen tables!’
According to Silly Sausage, Botox Betty proved to her how fit she’s feeling by doing the splits.
Silly Sausage said “It was very memorable.”
I said “Why? Couldn’t she get down?!
She said “No, she’s had plenty of practice going down.”
And I said “Well, did she have trouble getting back up again?”
She said “No, she didn’t have any trouble getting back up again.”
And I said “So, what was so memorable about it?”
And Silly Sausage said “Well, I’ve seen lots of people do the splits in my time and I’ve been known to do them myself, but that’s the first time I’ve ever seen someone do the splits like that.”
And I said “Like what?”
And Silly Sausage said “Well, I’ve never heard anyone whistle all the way down before!”
Say goodnight, Gracie.
Goodnight, Gracie.
See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 