Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And in September England said a fond farewell to Denis Norden.
In his obituary the ‘Daily Express’ began by saying “The most literate of comics, Denis Norden belonged to a generation who survived on their wit. Most of today’s slobbish comedians leave you gasping for less, but Denis Norden was a proper raconteur and wordsmith.”
In drama school I was called “gregarious.” I didn’t say anything until I’d looked the word up, in case it was an insult, but it was a very kind compliment because it means to love ‘the art of conversation.’
So, we’d like to present our own tribute to Denis Norden, with some of our favourite Nordenisms.
Denis Norden savoured Eric Morecambe’s advice that, with comedy, 2 words you can’t go wrong with are “kippers” and “Cockfosters.”
He never liked the term ‘Light Entertainment,’ asking “What is the opposite of light entertainment? Is it heavy, or dark.”
He said reminiscing “is the most fun an older person can have without actually having much fun.”
He also suggested “men are capable of enjoying sex when they’re 80…though not as a participant.”
And “You know you’re getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable 2 people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.”
He described a radio station, specialising in 17th century music, having the jingle “If it ain’t baroque, don’t fax it.”
On the dangers of lighting a fire in a canoe he warned “You can’t have your kayak and heat it.”
Of working with his longtime writing partner, Frank Muir, he said it had been “Like a marriage, without the obvious advantages of a marriage.”
He said “What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?”
Perhaps his most English of witticisms was “It’s a funny sort of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it’s when you discover that your wife left you in May.”
Many Americans could say the same of really keen baseball fans!
In a spoof of ‘Julius Caesar’ he wrote “Infamy. Infamy. They’ve all got it in for me.” First written for ‘Take It From Here,’ it became immortalised by Kenneth Williams in ‘Carry On Cleo’ in 1964.
Of his series of specials dedicated to out-takes, ‘It’ll Be Alright On the Night,’ which ran for 30 years, from 1977 to 2007, he said “It’s like a farm where the manure is worth more that the cattle.”
On leaving the BBC and working for ITV franchises he said he was glad to leave the BBC and said it was “like leaving a monastery and joining a strip club!”
In retirement he said “Some people pass their entire lives without being witness to the golden age of anything. I was fortunate. We not only lived through the golden age of so many forms of popular entertainment, we were present at the birth of them, enjoyed their heyday and were there to mourn their passing.”
But everything good lives forever on video, on audio and in ourselves!
Denis Norden now joins us in our lovely little village of Upton Went, as part of the ‘Greatest Show Not On Earth, our full size replica of the Crystal Palace of 1851.
It’s nearly time for us to go, but before we do, here are our favourite Nordenisms.
Mine is “I can remember when, if you saw ‘3D’ outside a cinema, it was the price of admission.”
And mine is about the actor in weekly rep who turned to the prompter and said “What line is it? and the prompter said “What play is it?”
It’s been a pleasure bringing all these Nordenisms to a wider audience.
Yes, indeed it has, but it’s time for us to go now. Join us next week and every week. It wouldn’t be the same without you.
Say goodnight to all the nice people around the world.
OK, goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 