Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
And we were chatting to Bomber Roberts this week.
And he was saying that he was glad he wasn’t famous.
And we told him he was famous because he wrote several guitar books in the ’70s, which influenced many people, including Eric Idle because a character is named after him in a 1972 episode of ‘Monty Python’s flying Circus.’
And now he’s world famous in ‘Apple & Ginger’s Roadshow.’
So, this week we present ‘Bomber Roberts’ Schooldays.’
He once got left on the top of a tram.
He looked down and thought “that man and woman waving to me frantically look just like my mum and dad.”
That’s because they were his mum and dad.
He got off at the next stop and walked back home.
During the war someone visited the school to talk about wartime savings stamps.
He asked if anyone collected them.
Bomber Roberts said “I collect stamps I got ’em in a box at ‘ome.”
The teacher looked at the man and said “don’t worry about him.”
During an air-raid he got out of bed and stood at the top of the stairs and said to his father “What do I do now?”
And his father said “Hurry up and get dressed, yer daft bat!”
His mother called him ‘Unconscious.’
However, it should be noted that Bomber Roberts was much brighter than a Toc-H lightbulb.
Often bright people are seemingly dim in other areas because they are thinking of higher things.
Like stocking tops?
No, like logarithm tables and binary logic diagrams and last weeks’ episode of ‘ITMA.’
We like to call it ‘Inconspicuous Intelligence,’ or ‘Eye-Eye’ for short.
Bomber Roberts did very well in school and college and did his National Service in the posh RAF.
He already had his ‘trade’ and was ground crew for 2 years.
He worked on Avro Lincolns, which were the larger versions of the Lancasters.
While he was in the RAF he discovered a marvellous dodge. If you can play a musical instrument, your in!
They used to play in a mess.
And sometimes they played tidily!
By the time Bomber Roberts finished his National Service he was engaged and they were married in 1953.
They got married because they had to.
They couldn’t bear to be apart!
And this year they celebrate their 65th Wedding Anniversary.
Bomber Roberts became a draughtsman in civilian life.
This rocketed him into the jet set, flying first class to exciting destinations, such as Glasgow, Manchester and Newcastle-upon-Tyne.
He also became a professional guitarist playing in musicals like ‘The Sound of Music’ and ‘My Fair Lady.’
And playing in the band for famous people, like Jack Douglas and Max Boyce.
Bomber and Mrs. Roberts also had a famous son.
He became an actor and a writer and by a strange quirk of fate, he created us 5 years ago.
Yes, he is our creator, and we couldn’t live without him.
We’ve been with you every Tuesday since September 17th 2013.
And it’s all because of our creator that we’re able to live in our lovely little village of Upton Went, with all our friends, the ‘Silly Cow’ public house, the ‘Greatest Show Not On Earth’ and our newspaper, the Daily Upton.
But it’s time for us to go now, but do join us next week and every week.
Say goodnight to all the nice people around the world.
OK, goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 