Hi, I’m Apple…
…and I’m Ginger.
On station WANK a new season of ‘America’s Worst Practical Jokers’ began this week.
Six unsuspecting members of the public were going for a routine medical checkup.
Dwane Beaver is an alligator whisperer from Louisiana, who likes reading wanted posters and counting his fingers.
Victoria Sponge is a local government worker from Maine, who likes listening to Mozart and compiling cryptic crosswords.
Billy Bob Hoover is a used car salesman from New Jersey, who likes fast cars and slow women.
Coleen Fannybag is a beautician from Ohio, who likes ‘National Geographic’ magazine and chocolate chip cookies.
Al Wiener is a computer programmer from California, who enjoys collecting mobile phone applications and recycling junk mail.
And here’s our final unsuspecting member of the public.
Lawrence Welk is a janitor from Rhode Island, who enjoys being mistaken for the famous band leader of bubble-machine fame on television in the ’50s and ’60s and collecting broom handles from around the world.
Unbeknown to these six unsuspecting members of the public, when they went for their routine medical checkup, their coffee was drugged.
While they were unconscious they were flown to Mexico.
They were then driven to ‘Pedro Quack’s Meatball Surgery Emporium’ where they each had a kidney removed.
The kidneys were preserved in ice and flown, together with these six lucky contestants to the ‘World’s Worst Practical Jokers Productions studios in beautiful, downtown Burbank, California, where ‘America’s Worst Practical Jokers’ is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
When the six lucky contestants regained consciousness they were invited to be game for a laugh and play ‘That’s My Kidney.’
If they successfully pick out their kidney from the line of six, ‘America’s Worst Practical Jokers’ will award them their star prize.
And that star prize is that ‘America’s Worst Practical Jokers’ will pay for them to have their kidney put back where it once belonged at the hospital of their choice.
And as a bonus ‘America’s Worst Practical Jokers’ will throw in an ambulance back to their front porch absolutely free.
However, should any of the six lucky contestants fail to find their kidney they go home empty-handed, except for ‘America’s Worst Practical Jokers’ consolation prize of an all-expenses-paid holiday to Mexico and a place on the kidney transplant register.
Meanwhile, their kidneys will go to help needy Mexicans requiring a new kidney!
And that was last week’s ‘America’s Worst Practical Jokers.’
It’s nearly time to go, but before we do it’s time for this week’s ‘United States of Emergency’ spot.
Last week we told everyone in Texas we were thinking of them and praying for them.
This week we say the same to Florida.
Irma’s been a blast.
But now it’s in the past.
We know it left you aghast.
But you’ll be back on your feel real fast.
We’ll see you all again next week.
Say goodnight to all the nice people around the world.
OK, goodnight folks. See you next Tuesday.
themaster1968 